Life

It's so not fair! I've been pondering this pregnancy thing so much in the last couple of weeks.
You know how when you're interested in or just bought a new car, you suddenly see it every where? That's how I'm feeling about being pregnant and how I've felt about losing a baby. It seems everywhere I go I come in contact with people who have trouble conceiving, have experienced several miscarriages, or have lost a child. It is a far more frequent occurrence than I would ever have imagined.
For me, this pregnancy, though longed for for so many months has been a bit of a dream. Of course, anything, I say, would make this pregnancy better than the last. Truthfully, I am enormously grateful for each day that is normal and uneventful.
I went into the hospital a couple of weeks ago for an NST because I was cramping. All the thoughts and feelings . . .
Thank God nothing showed up and "Fou Fou" is kicking up a storm each and every day. However, I am so much more aware that things change so quickly.
My friend posted that she was stunned by a miracle, only to write later that the baby was not to be. I was speechless.
From where I am, I don't know how she can continue like she does. I know she is a phenomenal parent and a stronger person than most people twice her age. In the great big world that is ours to inhabit, I have to question, what is the purpose of conceiving if you will not bear? Why allow this to happen only to allow it to be taken away?
I know, you're not supposed to blame God. Isn't my God who created the whole world, big enough to bear the accusations of the world?
I just want to make sense of it all. I know I am blessed to have my little man. I pray that God will heal all the hurting hearts of the mommies, daddies, and siblings who eagerly await some sort of miracle. I pray the He will comfort all those who are in the midst of those challenges. And, I pray that His hand will on my friend and her little family.